This is so relatable and I'm glad you shared the experience. I feel like there's one of two ways you could view it - yeah, there's the natural "oh god that was awful why do I have to stutter, why God, etc." or there's the "this experience is important because it's wake up call. I need to change. My speech is ultimately in my control and I need to take that control back. Let this be day one." Your speech ultimately is in your control and you can gain better fluency and that'll open up a world to you. I'd view it as the second option if I were you.