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Am I pathetic? Alright Comrades, I dunno why I feel as if I should share my recent experiences with my fluency on a subreddit, it ain't like me to complain about my life on social media, but hey it looks like I am. So, I developed my stammer in my adolescence years (at the age of 12, if I were to be precise) & I have just started year 11/10th grade. Because I have started a new year it means I have a new timetable with all new teachers, whom most are unaware of my stammer. Because of this I have already had multiple incidences, in just over 1 week of being in year 11, where the teachers have asked me questions in class & I have not been able to say anything. When I say "anything", I quite literally mean it feels as if a tap has turned off my speech - no sound, not even a mumble, just nothing. This has never happened before, usually I repeat my syllables or lengthen them out before my teachers realise I'm struggling & tend to not ask me anymore questions for the rest of the year, & this makes me feel pathetic to be completely honest. I gotta say it's humiliating not to be able to answer a simple question while the whole of the class is staring at me in complete silence till the student next to me has to say, "yeah he doesn't speak to anyone". I can answer the register fine as it's a familiar "yes sir/miss", but I can't say anything else to my fellow students or teachers. I've never had any friends at the school I'm currently at, literally none in all the years I've been in the school, so no student really understands the struggle of having a speech impediment (unless if there is another student with a speech impediment or knows someone else with one of course). I hope my fluency starts to improve under pressure soon, but till then I guess I've just got to work on it with my SALT therapist. Thank you for reading this, it's nice to know there are people I can relate & vent to in this isolated world.