I know it is extra hard in your age and I am sorry for that. Especially if you have to fight it on your own. But you should really avoid the selfharming. Instead, try to improve your mental health and/or speech. What can you do (you can ask your mum): \- find a good speech theraphy. \- find a good psychologist. \- find somebody you can talk to when you feel miserable (reddit is a good place to start) \- try mindfullness meditation in order to enhance your selflove and acceptance. \- ChatGPT is also a really good buddy if you are struggeling with anything. ​ You are in puberty and it is harder for you to deal with this shit. But it will get better, dont give up and dont harm yourself please :)