I know it sucks. I’ve been there. I have low points, I have high points. Wish I was more fluent, but it is what it is. I have important meetings and the 1st impression is me stuttering! But I keep my head high and plow through. My advise to you is- Don’t beat yourself up. Love yourself, you are unique, special person with a lot to offer. Change your perspective on life. I found out yesterday that the voice of Darth Vader stutters. The most famous voice in film history grew up as a stutter, he still stutters today !!! Google his story. It’s amazing and I pray it encourages you. This guy who plays on the Houston Astros baseball team, on of the best players in the league stutters. He hets caught on words during his interviews- George Springer I think his name is.