I’m sorry you’re still struggling to accept it. I know it’s a shitty thing to have to deal with in life along with all the other struggles. Though you will find happiness once you learn to fully accept it. Instead of hoping to be a person you’re not you should try to love yourself with all the flaws included. Just try your best every day and that will be enough. There’s days where my speech is worse than others but when I do stutter I just apologize and try to say it again. More often than not whoever I’m talking to is patient and understanding. So again love yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself! Happy Birthday by the way 🥳