I will offer some advice. Off the cuff. Not professional. Sounds like this is always on your mind. Set yourself some boundaries. Start small. Everyday at X time, I will refrain from thinking about my stutter. Could be breakfast. Could be the shower. Lunch. Working out. Whenever. But begin practicing taking some time away from stressing about your stutter. Start small. Just 5 minutes if that's all you can manage. But get in the habit of shutting down negative thought cycles. It takes practice to stop negative thoughts. But with practice, you can learn to manage them. "No, this is my time. I will not dwell on this at this time." And you have to say it to yourself 100 different ways. And you have to repeat the process again and again. But you will learn to shut down those thought cycles. I'm not suggesting that you can get away from them completely. But you deserve some time away from them. Over time, you can grow the amount of time you aren't subject to that self abuse. You can limit the amount of time you spend thinking about your stutter. And when you do think about your stutter, make it count. Don't relive a moment over and over. Don't recriminate against yourself for being who you are. As if you could have done something differently. After an episode or a situation, move forward. When you next allow yourself time to think on your stutter, sort that episode. JUST THAT EPISODE. Don't pile on every stuttering event and your whole life onto that one episode. Just focus on hashing that one out. And when you're done hashing that one out, that's it. You're done with that one. Did you leave any stone unturned? Is there more to learn? Be done with that moment and move forward. None of this fixes your stutter. It doesn't lessen the anxiety. But if you work at this, you can spend less time allowing your stutter to control your life. You can allocate time to interests. Working on your interests will likely improve your outlook. These are first steps that might help.