I echo these other comments that you seem to be in a dark space, you should try to see if your school offers any therapy or guidance services. I will interject a straight answer too. Kitchens. Kitchens have long been a place for "rejects" which is in quotations because it's a place to learn where you're not useless and dumb, you just needed some structure. Anyway, get a job as a dishwasher and start learning! If you absolutely hate it, you at least will earn some life skills in a short amount of time.