I'm concerned you're in a bad family situation if they know you have a stutter and still moan when you try to talk. That's incredibly rude and hurtful. Find yourself a support group, a lot of colleges have them, if not for stuttering specifically than just for any group of people feeling out of place. It's really freeing to be able to talk to people who genuinely understand what you've gone through and see you for the person you are without caring about the stutter. And make sure your family knows how you feel about them not being patient with you. Tell them how much it hurts for them to groan or walk away when you're talking to them. But most of all, you're not an idiot and you're not worthless. Very intelligent, competent people have trouble speaking. Respect yourself and remind yourself about things you're good at. Spend time doing things you enjoy, maybe writing or outdoors time. Spend lots of time thinking about who you are behind the stutter, who you really are on the inside, and then try to live more like that person when you interact with others. And as for who would want to be friends with someone who stutters at 20? Loads of people who've been laughed at and made fun at school just like us. Kids are mean and stutterers aren't the only ones who've been abused or disrespected. People have all sorts of problems and having friends who've gone through tough times can help them open up. I'm sure there are others at your school who feel very similar to you about their own lives and issues, and you might be just the friend they're looking for.