Man you have every right to feel the way you do right now. It can be extremely tough. Especially being 19. That age is hard and full of constant comparisons to others (which of course does not make your speech better). The bright side is that you're 19. You're young. You probably only have about 15 years tops of stuttering experiences. Which I know sounds like a lot but some people start to work to overcome their stutter with 2x, 3x,4x the amount of stuttering experiences. Which will lead more work retraining your brain. Man, you're young and that awesome! Myself being someone who overcame his stutter around 18-19, (overcoming my stutter meaning doing/saying what I want, when I want, where I want. Not letting it hold me back in any regard, as a bi-product removing the fear/anxieties and severely decreasing the amount I actually stutter) my advice to you right now would be to practice vulnerability. Practicing vulnerability is so massive when it comes to overcoming your stutter. If you think about it, what is your ultimate vulnerability? Its your stutter right. That causes you to feel the most embarrassed, anxious, frustrated etc. But your response to this vulnerability right now is almost guaranteed resistance. Meaning you view this stutter and the emotions that come up with it as something that shouldn't happen. As something that is wrong. And as a result you will repress. Meaning you will stuff these "negative" emotions down inside of you allowing them to always play unconsciously. Which of course will make your stutter worse. If you start to practice vulnerability and starting to be okay with being vulnerable in other areas of your life, saying "I love you to your mom or dad or brother" or showing off your insecurities (I used to always wear shorts because I was terrified of people seeing my chicken legs as a way to practice vulnerability) and you start to see that you didn't die by being vulnerable. And you didn't repress, you started to express more.. then switch that over to your speech. Start being okay with these "negative" emotions as they arise, by understanding this is just a moment in your life and you're going to be completely fine. This post is going on way too long and there's so much more I want to say 😅. If any of this resonates with you or anyone, feel free to ask for more details 🤟