I hate how you have to not go into a certain frame of mind to NOT stutter

I hate how you have to not go into a certain frame of mind to NOT stutter I hate how you have to go into a certain frame of mind to NOT stutter. I've been a long time stutterer, and I know that the intensity of your stutter can be influenced by your thoughts or... what frame of mind you're in. Probably the most common and effective technique is - voluntarily stutter... or at the very best, just let the stuttering happen and go with the flow. If you go into that meditative, zen state of mind where you are not blocking the stutter, you will have an easier time talking. Where you disengage from perfectionism and " let it be ". And it makes sense because you are basically getting over the fear of stuttering and eliminating all those anxiety feedback loops that cause the stuttering in the first place. In contrast, if you instead deliberately try to talk without stuttering, that's when your stutter will be at its worst. Because then you are actively fearing your stutter and your brain sees it as its biggest enemy, and of course then it will be even more difficult to talk. This once happened in a Rowan Atkinson interview where someone talked about his past stutter, and then he started stuttering again in the interview. But I really hate this entire paradigm!! I hate how I'm not in control of myself and I have to deliberately calm myself and turn into a monk and choose what thoughts I can have in my head. If I want to make the effort to talk without stuttering, that's something I should be able to do. Why should I block that? That's what's ironical about this whole thing. I'm supposed to " go with the flow " and just accept my stutter, but I concurrently cannot accept this other thought in my head? I'm supposed to block this thought? What happened to go with the flow, I thought it was ok to enter any frame of mind?