You sound exactly like I used to. I know how you feel. Stuttering has absolutely helped my life. It has made me stand out professionally and interpersonally. It has developed my worldview and maturity. My life is better because of my stutter. Stuttering will hold you back only if you let it. It is all on you. It's not the stutter. It's you. Either you take control of your life, or you float down the river and give up your own authority. It's not something you can do overnight, but you need to change your mentality.