[https://westutter.org/](https://westutter.org/) I hear you. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure, and you just want it to go away. I don't know you, but you are more than your stutter. God has not punished you or is angry with you. It is okay to angry with God. The link I sent you is a stuttering association where they hold conferences for people who stutter, and they have local chapters in your area of a support group community of people who stutter. NSA organization is community, empowerment and education for people who stutter, and it is free! No need to pay $4500!