What steps have you taken to improve your situation, aside from antidepressants? Have you gone to speech and regular therapy? If yes, why do you think they failed? Have you looked at joining stuttering groups in your area? I know the NSA has chapters all over the US. https://westutter.org/chapters/ Finally, have you tried to focus on things you DO have control over? Do you exercise? Do you read to try and expand your mind? Absolutely NO ONE has ever said life was fair. You are not guaranteed or owed anything. You’re dealt cards in life and you just have to play the game with the cards you are dealt. Being mad or sad at the dealer helps no one. You just got to keep on keeping on. Maybe it gets better, maybe it doesn’t. But that’s life, one giant chaotic random mess.