I’m nearly 20 and won’t go to Dr appointments alone. I can’t BEAR stuttering in front of strangers like receptionists and doctors. The embarrassment of having my mother come with me is much more bearable to me than stuttering. I don’t even go on the bus anymore. I’ve chewed and ripped a nail writing this as even thinking about it sends my anxiety haywire. A horrible childhood, adolescence and start to adulthood all have knocked my confidence to 0 - I don’t even look my family in the eye anymore when I speak. I’ve tried everything I possibly can. I’ve tried asking people directions, initiating conversations with random people on public transport (for weeks), ordering my own drinks from pubs, medicine, weed, alcohol, supplements and vitamins, 10 years of speech therapy and 4 years of cognitive behavioural therapy. I’ve no longer got hope of it getting better. I text my mum while I’m sitting directly beside her on the couch. It’s not fun :’( major influence on 99% of my life Weirdly, put me in front of a camera doing a recording for something like YouTube and my stutter completely vanishes. No joke. I’ve even tried to imagine peoples faces as legit camera lenses. That’s how messed up my speech has gotten me. My only escape is talking into a camera.