Oh gosh I wish I had an answer to this. I struggle with the exact thing and it is so painful and draining, especially when it happens over and over again. Sometime I try to hit my leg or tap my foot and say the word when I do the motion. I find that can sometimes help alleviate some of the stress if I can have something to do at the same time as I speak. I always stutter more whenever I think about it but it’s impossible to not think about, so I totally get where you’re coming from. Sending so much warmth your way. You got this! I’m rooting for you.