You're not an idiot, you just stuttered. Please don't consider this a failure on your part. That's not fair and you shouldn't be feeling that way. Stutter is just a thing that some people have. It's speech with added sounds, which might seem curious, but that's all. - Do you have anyone you close to you that you can talk to about these things? I mean, sure, you have this place, but conversation is typically more effective with more of a presence, exchange and nearness. - Oh and I really think you should talk to those who intend for you to give speeches. They need to know you have a stutter, and perhaps they also need to understand what a stutter amounts to. Just so they don't think it's "nerves" or whatever (out of ignorance). We don't _force_ ourselves to a better place. We work on it in a beneficial pace, and it takes time.