You have a disability. You need to accept it. I know acceptance is hard, but it doesn't mean it's permanent or that it can't be managed, but for now you have a serious health issue which significantly affects your ability to function and general quality of life. I'm 37, and just recovered from stuttering around spring last year, so I understand the pain, suffering, and opportunities lost because you just can't function the way nature intended. Have you explored jobs that don't require a lot speaking? Don't let your self confidence or self worth be definded by the things you can't do well. Let it be definded by your positive traits. And remember, you are not alone.