This is great advice. So much truth here. But it’s also undeniable that living through these experiences and emotions and suffering are real and painful. I’m sorry OP that you went through that, but please do have faith that you can get through the difficult times and things can get better and you will learn to cope better over time. Things are indeed very different with age and as life’s priorities change. I’m sure the advice of another middle aged woman doesn’t provide a lot of comfort now but I wanted to add my voice of encouragement as well. It can get easier and better. Don’t discount speech therapy either, focus hard on making the skills habit so it’s easier to get out of the blocks and repetitions more fluidly when they happen. Practice makes the actions more spontaneous and effective. And give yourself a break when you have one of the bad times, being tired or nervous or stressed make things worse, but all things pass.