I really understand you because i go through the same thing. I always ask myself why can’t I just speak freely, it really impact my mental health so much because it affects everything I do for example I didn’t go to college due to this reason. as a kid I was always embarrassed to talk for example, I couldn’t even introduce myself or when a teacher asked to read out loud. And what crazy is nobody in family have this problem but me so im always asking why me. I really need help im only 20