It doesn’t make it any easier, but that old chestnut that says that bullies do what they do to compensate for their own insecurities really is true. One day they’ll look back at the things they said and feel ashamed. A stutter is the ultimate asshole detector. And the people that mind don’t matter, and the people that matter don’t mind. As for what you have to live for, now might be the time to pick up a new hobby, start a new project, or just get stuck into a really good game or book. I hope you can tell some irl people how you’re feeling, not just us, btw. Opening yourself up like that really does help.