I feel the same exact way as you do. I am a covert stutterer as well and gone through every thing you went through - decent job, would occasionally go out to bars, play basketball on the weekends. As with your GF situation, same thing 6-8 months. I tried not to talk about my speech impediment but when she did figure out I was a stutterer, it became apparent that she wanted to be in the friend zone. Lastly, I had sprained my neck a few years ago and lost everything. I stopped working for a while and don't go out as much now due to my pain. At times, it's hard to concentrate on both my speech and pain, so it does make my stutter worst. Maybe a shrink would help or just someone to talk to. But you are not alone. I'll have some good days and some really bad days with my speech. I'm learning to accept it but it's still hard ... I've been trying costal breathing recently but the technique does make me feel light headed and feels unnatural.