Sadly, I can relate ti every single single thing you have said. My stammer holds me back from being my true authentic self around people. The bitterness and anger I feel about this is eating me up. I feel so lonely, both when alone and in social situations. I'm an extreme covert stammerer, so will go to great lengths to hide it, but at the cost of hiding the real me and living a life of solitude. I turn 40 this year and have lost all hope of ever being happy and accepting my speech difficulties. It feels like the most frustrating, cruelest curse. A nightmare I wish I could wake up from. If only there were a magic pill one could take to cure a stammer, just like with a headache, I would be first in line :-(