Chef- hang in there. Find your tricks and triggers, forgive yourself, find something that makes you happy and dig in. Use that 6th sense we have about blocks to expand your synonyms. Find a distraction to grow and find/further yourself on something that doesn’t need verbal communication. I found woodworking and exercise were great outlets for me. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed, few people walk in our shoes. Cheers from a lifelong stutter who at one point feared the phone as an instrument of the devil. I’m married with 2 kids and I’ve literally been where you are. Hang in there. It gets better.