commentr/StutterOctober 17, 2020

Content

Don’t overthink it. People don’t think about our stutters nearly as much as we do. It’s just a distinctive feature about you, not something that defines you. I’m married now, but used to get similar comments relatively frequently from girls who were interested in me in a distinctly non-innocent way. Women can be attracted to our quirks. Even the ones we hate. I actually did ask a couple of them (later into the relationship), and the answer was always something like “I don’t know, you’re really smart and funny and do all these cool things, so when you get flustered and stutter, it’s endearing because I don’t expect it out of you.” I think it’s kind of like how women love a man in a suit, but also the same man in cozy pajamas. There’s something about the dichotomy that (in my experience) is attractive to them. If you want to ask about it down the line, just be casual about it and don’t let it come off like you’re questioning *if* she likes it, so much as *why.* Have confidence and just say that it’s something you’ve personally struggled with accepting, so you’re interested in her perception of it. I really wouldn’t worry about it, though. It isn’t that she thinks a stutter is adorable, it’s that she thinks *you’re* adorable when you stutter. The most important thing to remember is that **she wouldn’t find it attractive if she weren’t attracted to you.**

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceIdentity & Disability

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionAuthenticity vs. MaskingAcceptance & Pride

Codes (2)

saying_name_introductionperceived_judgment