Life on Delay by John Hendrickson. Websites like the Stuttering Foundation and We Stutter or Friends Who Stutter. You could google famous people who stutter like James Earl Jones, Emily Blunt, Biden, Samuel Jackson, and Moses. To question what it's like to live with a disability is a pretty sophomoric question TBH. Would you ask someone in a wheelchair what's it's like? You'll never really understand. Why not see a specialist and figure out why you want this so badly for yourself. Why does your partner's stutter irritate you? Then, you say you feel guilty and ashamed. These are pretty toxic feelings to have in a relationship that's supposed to be about love. It's concerning to me you aren't patient with someone who has a speech disability. Maybe this relationship isn't for you and you need to move on. There's alot of fish in the sea. You need to find someone that isn't irritating you and your partner will find someone where their stutter isn't a problem, maybe they even find it endearing.