Dude. You're overthinking this and taking it way out of proportion. The fuck did I even just read. Even in my darkest stuttering times, I've never given it this much thought. Holly shit did this consume the living shit out of you. Take this as tough love rather than bullying: stop worrying and live your life. If you're gonna sit there, overthink why you stutter, feel sorry about yourself then angry, and also keep connecting different arguments together or whatever the fuck it is you're doing, you're only sinking into a deeper hole. Just stop. Switch it off and live your life. That's all I'm gonna say. I ain't reading the thesis you just dropped on me.