I relate to this way too much, got diagnosed with selective mutism 4 years ago. Was a stupid and suicidal 17 year old, who gave up on my free speech pathologist at school. I'd just get high expecting to be dead before turning 18. Which I kinda did accomplish (went braindead for a year after failed attempt). If it weren't for my sister I wouldn't have gotten a job as a laborer/cleaner, for a while. Current Working in installing countertops with my dad and brothers. Have a shit relationship with family, and don't enjoy it in the slightest. Always ignored and treated like I'm stupid, by my brothers and dad. Currently don't have a choice, it's work, of possibly get kicked out again like I did at 14-15ish. My sister found out and let me stay with her for a few years before she kicked me out at 17, cause my mental health was going to shit. Come from toxic Mexican family that believes men shouldn't feel anything