You shouldn’t be trying so much not to stutter. And actually, I had a physics teacher in high school that stuttered, and he was awesome, everybody loved him! He was super interesting. And he was also a part-time professor at a University at the same time as teaching at the high school. You got a lot of negative, harmful beliefs. I recommend you start a journey of bettering your overall health. This could start with working out, reading a book on positive/accurate thinking, eating healthy. Learning about confidence and walking and standing with good, powerful posture. And if you can, try to get a Cognitive Behavior Therapist. Health in general can really be great for our speech and life. I would really recommend the Dave McGuire course. They have an inexpensive self help book on Amazon called “Beyond Stammering: The Mcguire Program for getting good at the Sport of Speaking.” You can have the book downloaded onto your phone in minutes if you get the Amazon Kindle app. The book will go through psychological reasons for stuttering, give you a breathing technique, and inspire you to get out and practice speaking. The program will be fear inducing but use the people closest to you for support. Keep practicing the techniques and follow what the book says. Then I recommend reading “Redefining Stuttering” by John Harrison, someone who stuttered for many years and was part of the National Stuttering Association for many years. You can find a free link to the book if you google the title. If you can’t find it I will help send you a link. I was surprised to find the book for free after seeing it was sold out on Amazon.