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Cant have conversations anymore!!! I'm just gonna vet!!! I went to a myriad of enough therapies that was all temporary band aid approaches!!! The same old stories--temporary improvement followed by relapses!!! Had lunch with a best friend...couldn't speak to her.....!!! Totally stuttering my rear-end off and couldnt communicate at all!!!! ALL I think about is ways to end my life painlessly...I am living in hell..!! I wish I was never born! I never chose to be born--my folks decision!!!! I could go to yet another therapy but it would just be another technique thing...bull like that!!! I always fear going outside......I cannot hear myself with an echo--and that is the only thing that would enable me to speak-and I do mean speak coherently.....hearing myself with an echo. The priest at the ash wednesday service said "God loves me"---that's bull!! I don't love him!!! Why should I---I got this cant speak problem...!!!! He don't love me ----he made me unable to communicate!!! I literally could not speak with my friend today all because of not being able to hear myself with an echo!!! $4,500 for a speecheasy....don't have that kind of cash.......rule 5. is no suicidal ideation...I read the rule!!!! But it's how I feel every day because of how nasty my stuttering is....the next time someone mocks me---that will be the last straw.