commentr/StutterJanuary 3, 2025

Content

Most pws have same issue as you, they have situational stutter/blocks. I have had the same issue all my life, and over time I learnt that this is mostly caused by underlying social anxiety issue. Over the last 5 years I've been working on fixing the social anxiety issue which has helped me overcome my stutter/block to a large degree. I'll list the most important things that worked for me. \- Learn as much about social anxiety and about your own stutter as you can. I read many books about social anxiety, and went to therapies/coaching designed for social anxiety. \- I learnt the skill to calm myself down on demand. For this I tried lot of mediation, breathing and mindfulness techniques until I found the ones that work for me. Different people respond to different meditation techniques, so I recommend you try out different ones and settle on ones that work the best. Most pws have very high baseline for anxiety, esp anticipating speaking situations. It helps immensely if you reduce that baseline \- I experimented with my speech any chance I got. I treated every speaking situations as an opportunity to learn about my stutter, instead of treating it as something I need to run away from. This is the most important mindset shift I made. This allowed me to put myself in situation that I previously feared. Remember, its the fear of stuttering that causes us to stutter. \- Another mindset shift I made is: "Speaking freely is more important than speaking fluently." I wish I could get this tattooed on myself and scream at the top of my lungs lol. If I don't care about whether I stutter, or if I don't care about other people's judgement, I get to speak freely. When I did this for the first time, it was the most liberating feeling in the world. I went to a coffee shop, took a deep breath and calmy said "Hi, cccccan I ggggggggget a large cccccccoffee with no rrrrrrrrrrroom for cream and ssssssss \[long pause and deep breath\] ssssssugar please?" I stayed confidently defiant as I said that, never changed my facial expression, and maintained eye contact the whole time. The barista didn't even seem to notice, and basically treated me like everyone else. This happened over and over many time and I came to the conclusion that in the past the reason I felt other people were mocking me was because I was projecting my own feeling of shame and guilt on them. I had experienced freedom for the first time. It became so intoxicating that I did this for the next 6 months every opportunity I got. Some pople did mock me, which I simply brushed aside, but 95% of people treated me normally. This is also what "confidence" is: Staying authentic to who you are, and not pretending to be fluent. After this mind-shift I go so confident that I started treating speaking with others the same as speaking to myself, or to my dog. As a result I started stuttering lesser, and becoming more and more fluent (although that wasn't my primary goal). Hope this helps, and let me know if you've questions.

Themes

Causes & VariabilityEmotional ExperienceCoping & AdvocacyIdentity & DisabilitySocial & Relationships

Subthemes

Stress & Fight/FlightAnxiety & Social JudgmentMindset shiftAuthenticity vs. MaskingIdentity & Self-PerceptionQuality of Life