Just go! You dont have to be anybody, just be yourself even if strangers look at uou weird. Is your friend really your friend? just stick with him. tell him that uou are afraid of doing something if tou feel that it will bring you too much embarasment. Its ok to be weak and nobody. people actually are accepting if youre honest and dont try to be what you are not. well normal people good people. i know it is hard and worriesome but if you accept these feelings then it gets better for a moment, then for another moment and with time tiu eill feel ok to be this weird and awkward person. well you think you are weird, but we are all weird and awkward in some situations, dont try to be what you ate not and then things improove bit by bit. I think they do well i at least believe they do and in a sense I can see it I wish you well and lots of love. dint be so harsh on yourself!!! im sire you have other good qualities you can be happy about we all have