As you well know by now there is a no definitive solution to “dealing” with a stutter and there likely never will be but this shouldn’t discourage you. There also isn’t a definitive solution to color blindness, being born with only 9 toes, or acne. These are all facets of life that may or may not be encountered and need to be worked in not worked around. I’ve stuttered since the 4th grade and 20 plus years later I still encounter bouts of exactly what you’re describing and the closest thing I’ve found to a solution is acceptance. Our speech patterns are different in the same way as people with acne and not; meaning it’s superficial. It can feel beyond prohibitive at times and still drives me to the point of tears but it’s a small part of life that we need to make room for. You still have a voice and you should treasure it no matter the form when it enters the space around you. I don’t expect this to cheer you up but I would like it bring other, healthier perspectives into focus.