The question was 'what motivates me to keep on living'?, right? I have two arms and two legs - they all work... Full set of teeth, that's great. I have had tumors removed from my body so I'm in remission, knowing I'm tough that helps too. Knowing as bad as I ever have it someone has had it worse, far worse. And am living in a time when there are a million things I can be good at that don't put pressure on me to be articulate. I don't have many friends, I'm single and live on my own but that's always enough - Am 37 and comfortable with who I am. Even if I've carried a stutter my whole life, even if it's affected every corner of my life there is always good reason to keep on living. Life isn't easy for anyone, we just have a specific and challenging hurdle to overcome in our stutters. If you don't think you can be anything in the future then I suggest speaking to people who can help, find something you can either be passionate about or comforably take the money a run from - there is no such thing as an easy job. You're not really dead inside, of course you're not - none of us here are. If you've posted then you're alive. What you said raised an anger in me - the perspective is you need thick skin if you're going to have a stutter in this world, you need to be resolute and you need to be comforable with yourself. Everything about what you said showed the opposite so in your case I'd advise speaking to a doctor, there are many avenues of physical and psychological assistance to go down, given the right honest conversation with a doctor you trust. You did ask what keeps us motivated though so I encourage others to comment with what keeps them motivated too, so this isn't just a list of comments that back up negative feelings people who regularly use this sub might be experiencing. Do speak to that doc though ✌