Content
Venting about a Presentation Hey everyone, So earlier today I gave my final college presentation (I am graduating in two weeks) in one of my chemistry classes. Presentations have always been hit (sort of) or miss (complete belly flop) with me. Usually the more time I spend practicing and visualizing the presentation, the better it turns out. Unfortunately, I had a really busy schedule the last week and had to make the presentation the day it was due within a few hours. Once my partner got through the first half of the presentation it was up to me to wrap it up and I pretty much dropped the ball. I had a bunch of blocks and stuttered what seemed like every other word. The thing is I usually have a mild stutter but if you put me in high stress situations like this my stomach gets knotted up, my heart races, and my stutter gets way worse. The icing on the cake was that I had the biggest block/stammer on the last word I had to say. :( Sigh. At this point I am used to the uncomfortable stares and winces produced by the audience during presentations/speeches. This does not bother me anymore. However, I am extremely disappointed in myself. After the presentation, I suddenly thought back to my freshman year, and how I naively thought I would "come out of my shell" and beat this stutter. Instead, it seems like it is an even bigger part of my life now than it was before. I am scared of the fact that I might end up hating myself for the rest of my life. I can accept what other people think of me or how they react to me, but I cannot seem to accept my own stutter. Now that I am reading this out loud it just sounds really over dramatic, but I guess that's just how I feel today. Thanks for listening if you made this far. I needed to get that off my chest. Goodnight everyone. I wish you all the best.