I’m sure every single person in this group has felt this way atleast once. I’m 22 and feel this every now and then, but I am starting to realize feeling bad for yourself will only make it worse. People are positive because of growth they experienced, even if it’s saying their name without a block or stammer. It’s improvement. Maybe you will become fluent one day but maybe you won’t. Yes of course it fucking sucks. Tough shit. There’s good days and bad days. Also, never compare your life to anyone, you never know others true struggles. Stuttering isn’t the worst possible thing in the world. Although it may feel like it in the time being, you’re 18! Best advice I can give is feel this hate but eventually let it go because it will get the best of you.