hey buddy. i feel you. i just have one suggestion. have you tried working online. as a freelancer i mean ! the point is : don't stuck your life for just alittle thing like that. believe me, if you stopped your life because of it, yes you gone kill yourself one day for sure. just distract yourself from your problem (just for now to get you outside that bad mood) then after you make some progress in your life, you will find it easier to tackle it down. maybe join sports team, or do any hobby. just distract yourself from misery and come back to your problem when you are tough.