I feel your pain so much.... All we need to overcome this hell we are in is to have a strategy on how we talk.. Sometimes I cry and wish I wasn't even born.. Non stutters don't know what we go through, It's really painful when you can't show how smart and intelligent you are on a conversation.. It's really painful when you can see the words in your head but can't say it...you totally go speech dumb I do drugs because of stutter, just to kill my pain away and ease my fluency.. At first the drugs started working, but the fear of stuttering in my head everyday overpowered the drugs power so now I smoke just weed.. Sometimes I feel like the weed is causing it to happen but if I stop taking it, I still stutter so I know stuttering is in my head..But it can be controlled when you work on yourself.. Have you ever took a week off just so you can work on your stammering?? It really works, Stammering can be controlled when you can control your mind, letting the fears go away sometimes.. It's not easy at all yes I know but if I can able to talk a little good I think every stutter can talk good.... 90% of stutters spend 24hrs of their time every day thinking about their predicament(stammering).. the more we keep getting scared and thinking about it, the more our brain will be getting used to it.. The brain saves the data we put in to it.. So the first step you need to be able to control your mind, You have lots of believing to do.. Believe you can talk good, believe you're going to talk good.. Forgive yourself for your past blunders and say to yourself with all seriousness that you want a new you... you must now let your brain start getting new thoughts about you, so how do you do that? Spend your time believing in yourself instead of worrying of your past.. Take stammering as your past... Strieve really hard, take it as a pain to want to talk good... You need to create a strategy on talking