I really just don't understand anymore!!!

I really just don't understand anymore!!! Hey guys I just found this sub and have a few questions if anyone is willing to help me out, I am super frustrated! Ill give a little backstory first. Sorry In advance is this sounds whiny or anything I appreciate you taking the time to read this. So I knew I had a stuttering problem since I was younger, it was pretty bad when I was 9 or ten, to the point where I couldn't even talk to my parents, the kind of stuttering where the air just doesn't come out of my lungs and feels like the air is stuck. My parents took me to speech therapy which if I remember correctly helped me out alot. Fast forward to today my stuttering is pretty situational, sometimes Ill be fine other times its horrible, I think its sometimes due to stress, answering a phone call or public speaking. I am in the law enforcement field so I have to use a radio alot, sometimes this is near impossible if its say something simple as radioing dispatch to clear a call I was on, other times if I was on a call say where I had to arrest someone and call for back up the stutter is non existent and I can use the radio no problem! I just don't understand! you would think that's more stressful than say answering a phone call right? Its so weird. I have been thinking about getting in touch with a speech therapy place again but have been putting it off thinking I can get by with ought it but I think its really starting to affect my confidence and relationships, slowly making its way into every corner of my life. Can someone offer me some guidance or answer? Sometimes I just wish it was as easy as getting surgery or taking a magic pill that would just fix it but I know its not that easy. Thanks again for taking the time to read this. -G