We understand that. I know I still do. Their is definitely a mental and social aspect to stuttering and talking. For me it was about social anxiety, wanting to be able to communicate "like normal", and not stand out - because I was stuttering. I've learned to have a better relationship with myself and stuttering in public. It's hard, I still don't like it. Unfortunately continuing to practice in public will be necessary, try building up the situations.. start with what's easier.. If you haven't read it I would recommend this book: http://katherinepreston.com/outwithitbook/ I can't tell you how much I hated the idea of "stuttering more openly" and I still don't like it. But their is a way to be more ok of it and accepting that it's part of you. This might sound very out there but for me learning to live with myself has been very helpful..