I know it’s really hard. Honestly, I feel you. Sometimes it needs to get worse before it gets better. The fact that you are on here writing about it is AMAZING. I was in denial for so long and it made it harder. You’re on the right path. Sometimes I try to accept the fact I might stutter and it makes the stutter less intense when it happens. Sometimes I also stutter on purpose, to gain control and acceptance, and that really helps. Other times my fluency techniques like breathing + linking words together + very light touches, helps. It takes some playing around with. Be patient, be open, be curious. Most of all be kind and loving to yourself. Smother yourself in love and compassion. It’s so hard stuttering and you’re doing your best. My heart goes out to you <3 be gentle with the part of you that stutters.