I may get downvoted for this, but here we go... Reread what you wrote 3 or 4 times. What I am seeing is load of negativity, avoidance and victim playing. With that being said I can relate to you. I was there. I was one of the worst stutterers...even at the conferences. You don't have support...what happened with the conferences? There's a lot of can't do this, can't do that. Truthfully how often do you actually order food in person? Or do you just order it online? I'm not going to give you advice because everything will be deemed toxic, but I think you need to reexamine things. What you have done so far hasn't worked. You can try speech therapy, but with all the negative emotions, not sure if it will do much good.