Are you seeing a therapist? I think you would benefit greatly from it! Sometimes I think that too. Like, I just want to talk like "normal" people do but in the end we just have to accept who we are and how we speak. It is a part of us, but it doesn't identify us. Because there is nothing we can do, there is no pill or a miracle cure. The important thing is to accept your stutter. Don't try to hide it with tricks, because it will give you more stress and it is just more exhausting too... And an therapist will help you with this, because doing this alone is difficult. I couldn't do it..