I can't seem to implement the techniques and strategies I've learned in therapy

I can't seem to implement the techniques and strategies I've learned in therapy So my stuttering has been there pretty much all my life. It's a side effect of my cerebral palsy, but the neurologist never thought it would be chronic, therefore my parents have always been determined to treat it. Now I'm 19 and it's still there. A I've been in therapy all my life and nothing has worked. On top of that my parents (though having good intentions) have stigmatized the stuttering, making it into this big problem, this huge obstacle in my life which has obviously proved to be counterproductive. Anyway I stopped therapy in junior year because I was just sick of it, because it reminded me that something was wrong with me and I was under too much pressure to correct it so I gave up This year, having matured and become more self aware I decided to give it a try again with a different method. It works, because there are strategies that I understand and use. The problem is that I can't bring myself to use them in my day to day life I can't seem to integrate them into my subconscious and so, anytime an unexpected interaction takes place, or whenever I'm under pressure and there are factors that escape my control It's like I've forgotten everything I know. It's not that I don't want to. I know I'm capable of it because I do great during the therapy sessions, but in the outer world the external pressure takes the best of me. Anybody else has these problems? Any ideas on how to remember to use what I learn? Thanks