I had a brief panic attack just reading about your experience. As a teen, I probably would have just straight up quit the team. I’m a woman in my 40’s who’s now a preschool teacher, and taught myself to get pretty darn fluent. Here’s the thing - they do not know why you aren’t saying your number. Right? It hurts, but I bet if they actually truly knew, they’d feel terrible about being nasty to you. (If someone continues being mean, everyone else knows she’s a huge bitch. I promise.) So, what to do? It’s simple. AND SCARY. The very act of trying to hide your repetitions IS what causes your blocks! First, talk to your coach, saying something like “I have a verbal dysfluency, also known as a stutter. It’s a form of social anxiety that causes me to have an automatic panic response called a valsalva maneuver, which clamps shut my vocal chords. That’s why I cannot say my number. I just learned about this but I’ve been told that disclosing is a way to gain control of my blocks. I’m scared, but I think it will help to say this same thing to the whole bus.” If you are unconvinced, screenshot this and come back when you are ready. But don’t wait forever bc your blocks could get much worse. Also, [start at beginning of this guy’s podcasts to learn why an internet stranger is asking you to do the one thing you are trying to avoid!!](https://www.stuttering-specialist.com/media)