Most likely identity issues. Same thing is/was happening to me. Ask me anything but: ‘Tell me something about yourself’. Here I’d start to panic internally. Growing up in negligences (NPD home in my case), we tend to wear a mask of false persona, a person parents wanted for us, not who we are authentically. Now when asked about ourselves, we tend to feel struggle and chaos between personalities, as we don’t know who we are. If possible, do therapy. The kind diving deeper into human psychic. Additionally, I laughed at your sentence where you berate yourself regarding finding someone who finally likes you and you are 95% fluent. Thanks for the laugh, but at the same time this speaks deep feeling of shame and its common for us. I hope it helps and good luck.