commentr/StutterAugust 4, 2016

Content

I just joined this thread 2 days ago. And my stutter has been noticeably worse. Probably because I'm thinking about it more to try and solve it on a deeper level rather then just not thinking about it. But at my lowest state of not stuttering which was about three years ago i would just turned myself off when speaking to people. I just made conversation a game. I told myself the person i was speaking to was an opponent that i had to beat on a metal level. Like trying to convince them i was happier then them, knew more then them, and make them want to be around me lol. Looking back on it now i feel like I was actively putting myself in a psychopath mindset lol. I was working in retail while going to college at the time so most of my interactions were in sales, and working to get bonuses from management. When i walked in the doors to work i would leave my real self at the door and just try to beat everyone from customers to coworkers. I would look for any customers who walked in and approach them with the sole goal of making them like me so i could make them spend the most money possible. And when i spoke with my managers i had the sole goal of getting more shifts at hours most convenient to me. Being able to sell so much merchandise got me allot of bonuses. Making the management like me got me alot of hours. But the feeling was so fake and dishonest to a point that i ended up dropping the "game" completely. I still got blocks when doing it but noticeably less. But to me it personally wasn't worth it. You can try it of you want. It worked for me for a while.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilitySchool & Work

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionStress & Fight/FlightEmployment & Career

Codes (1)

ordering_service_encounter