Please try to accept what you can’t change or do whatever it takes to get help. Speech therapy ( check out a nearby medical school) and learn assertive communication skills online. I love Jefferson Fisher’s little one minute lessons on responses. I’ve stuttered for 74 years. I totally get you. I also was totally fluent recently for 5 years and then my stuttering returned with a vengeance. It’s hard to lose someone that is so hard for us. My psychologist has introduced me to a concept called radical acceptance. We have to use anything we have to survive this puzzling disorder. Don’t think that you can’t have a fulfilling life even with a stutter. Many others have succeeded in every field. Even law and medicine.