Wow I really relate to everything you’ve expressed here! I’m 33 and have stuttered since I was about 4. I’ve hidden it using the same tactics as you from almost everyone I’ve met except for a couple very close friends, my boyfriend and immediate family. It’s very much mental gymnastics. I work in health care and wear a mask at all times on shift. I feel like the mask has helped a bit, but in general I’m a quiet person at work so I haven’t noticed a big difference. In general I’ve sorta figured out that my stutter is worse when my anxiety is bad, which is triggered by my own scrutiny if I’m doing enough/am enough on that particular day. I also feel like I can’t control this, because I’ll have wild card days where I feel confident and free but then have a lot of blocks. I’m happy to hear there are others out there like me! I’m new to Reddit 🙏