Your comment about "masked version" makes total sense. I think I replied to your other post about connecting with women b/c of it. I relate completely - I considered that a Persona. But I found later in life and after a personal injury, it became exhausting to keep up that persona/masked version. It's an act of pretending to be someone you're not 24/7 and on-demand for the sake of being fluent. It's a catch-22 especially if you are like me and appreciate authenticity in relationships (i.e.: bringing your truest self to the table). And also agree and completely relate to your comment about having bad reactions as a kid. This plants into our subconscious as reinforced behavior. So now we associate to stuttering as a *wrong/something bad* because that's how our parents/family made us feel growing up. Even with the awareness we have now that it's completely okay because we have no control over it, our subconscious still associates it to being a *wrong* because that's simply how we were conditioned. I haven't quite figured it all out yet, but I would say that therapy (not speech related) is the best bet to bringing this up to the surface. Then from there, it's about to reinforcing positive behaviors and associations. Someone on this sub told me about "Somatic Therapy" to help deal with the body's reaction to things, so I will give that a shot myself once I find a suitable somatic therapist.