This is a loaded question that deserves more of a conversation than a post. It sounds like you may benefit from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or some similar therapy.. We have the stutterer's mindset and the brain needs to be retrained. Which is way easier said than done, especially if you have had the stutterer's mindset for decades. The focus needs to switch from "i am going to stutter on this word", into a more mindful approach. Focus on what is happening around you, and the actual context. In times you get caught in the stutterer's mindset, accept the thought, remind yourself its ok to stutter and then immediately bring your back to what is happening. There are other tools such as acceptance, voluntary stuttering, avoidance reduction that all supplement this idea. Those are other rabbit holes that could be discussed for hours. Edit: words